Dear Billy: Furlough

Dear Billy,

Sorry for the delay. The front end of our trip back to the states for furlough was more eventful than we had foreseen. Who knew that we would experience what the world is calling a coup d’état? There had been some roads blocked by protesters during the first few days of the week, so we began to wonder if we were going to be able to make our flights. The airport in San Pedro Sula is about two hours from our home and some of our friends missed their flights because of the protesting tactics. It’s never a good idea to drive through an angry tire-burning mob. Literally, those are words to live by!

To make a really long story somewhat shorter, we jumped the gun a little and hitched a ride with some friends who had a large bus only half-full of short-termers. We arrived in San Pedro without incident and waited at our friend’s house. They were great hosts and good sports, especially when our one-night stay became two nights because of the flight delays caused by the military curfew. On a side note, it was really strange to watch all of the violence that CNN was reporting and then go downtown and see everyone working and playing like normal. The mall was full of people, laughing and spending like crazy. It made us wonder about all the news that we had seen in the past. We were already cynical about the media, but now, we are convinced that there’s not an ounce of truth in it.

Well, here we are in North Carolina, beginning a 3 ½ month furlough. It is great to be here. Our church experience here is enriching. We have some great friends here and the kids have begun to catch up with their buddies from before. It’s hard to be away from family for years at a time, but it seems like we can get up to date in a hurry. In the long run, I probably get to spend more time with my parents than my other siblings. I just have to wait a few years to cram it all in.
Even though you have a while to think this through, it would be a good idea to begin contemplating the “big five” of furlough. There are other furlough concerns, but nothing happens without these.

First, you must consider location. Where are we going to spend furlough? Should you be near your family? Where are the majority of your supporting churches located? How about a church family who can be encouraging during your stay? Is there some kind of house that you can borrow? For us, with four children, living with family was not an option. Somehow, in God’s wisdom and providence, He has always provided a place for us to stay, a house for us to borrow. Some have required some work and others have been nearly maintenance-free. For a long time we stored furniture and mattresses, but the mold began to take over, as well as the challenge of setting up house each time. God has amazed us by His provision through His people.

Second, there is the question of transportation. Should you purchase a furlough vehicle and then try and sell it a few months later? It’s not a bad option if you have the funds and can find a great deal on a vehicle that would be easy to sell. We tried that several times and the last time was about 5 years ago. Things got pretty scary leading up to our flight out. We sold it on the evening of the last possible day. I believe that the buyer felt sorry for us. It was too tense for me. We have also had the experience of having a car loaned to us during furlough. That’s really great, but it is not without its share of tension. There is a constant fear of what could possibly happen, even if the insurance coverage is good. Let me share with you what happened to me two nights ago with our borrowed car.

This coming Friday is Lizzy’s birthday so Kathee and I, along with Abi went on Monday night to the brand-new Walmart to look for presents for Lizzy, as well as to purchase all the food-stuff for the party that we are planning at the lake.
It was raining a bunch when we came out of the store and we noticed the new parking lot and how the water seemed to really flow out of the way. We came to a part in the long drive-way that was not well-lit and we could not see that the water was backing up. We drove into about a foot of water and the car stalled. About an hour later, at about midnight, I finally called my Dad to come and pull us out of the dark Walmart driveway. The mechanic told me today that the motor was completely ruined and that we would have to spend about $1000 if we can find a used motor and about $2500 if we try and repair the old one. We aren’t really sure about what we are going to do, but this is a great time for all of us to remember the sovereignty of God and the reality of His constant provision.

Third, you must find a reliable person on the mission field to take care of your home while you are away. You have to think about leaving enough cash to handle all of your expenses. Since, setting up house can initially be such an involved endeavor, you will most likely maintain your rental home and try to find someone in whom you can really trust who can make sure that everything is functioning well when you return. We received a message a few days ago from our friends that are staying in our house in Honduras. They said that the door locks look like someone had tried to break into our home last week. It doesn’t take long for neighbors to realize that there is less movement and that there are moments when no one is home. You have to find someone who is really responsible and honest.
It is also helpful if you can find a friend who needs the place to stay while you are gone. Later this month, a couple of new missionaries are going to move into our house for about 3 months. This gives them time to find a place of their own and they can drive our car while they are planning out their own purchases. It’s definitely a win-win situation.

Fourth, try to create a travel schedule that works for the whole family. As much as you will need to visit churches (The ones that support you, as well as new, possible supporting churches), please make time for a relatively normal family life. Try and contact churches as soon as possible and try to fit them in, but realize that it may not be possible to spend a weekend with everybody. In some cases, you might simply have to have lunch with the pastor and try to meet with the mission’s committee (If they have one). Also, you will need to schedule vacation time or it will never happen.

Also, be careful to talk with pastors about their expectations. I was able to preach last week at the morning and evening services at my home church. In two weeks, I will be travelling to a large Baptist church where I will preach twice in the morning services. This week, Kathee and I were with a great supporting church that wants me to keep it to 5 minutes in the two morning services, share 15 minutes with the children’s group and share another 20 minutes in an adult Sunday School class. It can be a challenge, but we must be prepared and flexible. We all need a clear biblical understanding of the importance of the local body of believers and realize that our job is to try and stimulate interest in the spread of the gospel throughout the world. In short, ask questions and find out what they need. Even ask about attire. Some expect ties and jackets while others are super-casual. Also, don’t be boring or long-winded. You need to create and cultivate long-term relationships with churches and individuals who are excited about what God is doing through you in His world. Don’t ever forget the big picture.

Fifth, you need to be careful about furlough money. Everything will be more expensive back in the states than you remember. Many of the tricks that you have learned on the field that allow you to stretch the missionary income will not be available for several months. Fruits and vegetables will no longer be cheap and health care will scare you to death. If you are like me, you won’t buy any clothes for the two or three years in between furloughs and it will be nearly impossible for you to avoid all of the great “deals”. Go slow. Be careful.

Some organizations allow furloughing missionaries to raise their salary during furlough. We have never had the donations to allow us to do that, but if your case is different, do not hesitate to take good and prudent advantage of God’s provision. Remember, if you are not careful about your purchases, you will accrue significant debt during the furlough months that will complicate your finances during your next term. If that sounds more like a confession than a warning, then you have heard me well.

Thanks for praying for us.

In Him, Tim

Matthew 22: 36 – 38

³⁶"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 

³⁷Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

^{38This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.}

Dear Billy,

Hey, let me share with you a truth that I am still in the process of learning and that I believe has not only freed me from man’s humanistic expectations of me but has freed me from my humanistic expectations of myself.  I believe that the motivation for being on the mission field (the motivation for any Christian in this world actually) must come from a genuine love relationship with God. 

Many times missionaries are motivated by their desire to love and rescue the people in the field where they are serving.  This, at first glance, looks like a very worthy motivation.   But it’s not.  God doesn’t want us to try to love these people with our own version of love.  God is love.  It’s only through His love, God Himself, that He wants us to love others.   In this way, He gets all the glory and praise, not us.   In fact, He needs to be the One who is doing the loving…we are just supposed to be the vehicles.  If we do not have a grasp on this truth…and it’s a grasp that gets tighter and tighter as one falls more and more in love with Him… then our missionary service will be self-motivated, self-centered, and even self-destructive.   God wants to show His love for people…through us.

I have found that when we love people with a human love (to even call it love seems wrong, but for lack of another word, I’ll use it.  Let me know if you can think of a better term)… anyway, when we love people with a human “love”,  there are conditions, expectations, even manipulations that we, knowingly or unknowingly, press on others because we are looking and hoping for certain results.   When the outcome is their inevitable failure, we may become discouraged, angry, disgusted, bitter and even downright judgmental. 

In our efforts to try to teach them to obey our Lifegiver, and rightly so, we jump right over teaching them how to fall in love with Him.  Could it be because a list of rules is easier than a relationship?  Could it be because we ourselves have chosen the easy-rules path?  Could it be we have not taken the time to fall in love with our Maker either, and that’s why we don’t display His love…we don’t know how…we haven’t even gotten a grasp on it yet?  What is that old saying, “Don’t put the cart before the horse.”?  

So as a result of our “work for the Lord”, we have people trying to please us, to satisfy us, to copy us…instead of God.  What happens when we fall short or they fall short?  Both are inevitable…humanistic “love” isn’t suppose to work.  As I said before, some of us become discouraged.  Some of us become angry.  Some of us become disgusted.  Some of us become bitter.  Some of us become judgmental (as if we are not at all to blame).  And some of us just decide to get a divorce and leave the field altogether.  To “&^%$#” with it.  But if we are loving people with His love, then there will be mercy, compassion, forgiveness, patience, understanding ….a life full of grace.   Isn’t that how we want God and other people to treat us?

We tell people to love God with all their hearts, soul, body, mind, and spirit, yet we aren’t even willing to do it ourselves.  Wouldn’t our crucified lives be better teachers?  Eventually, people are going to disappoint us.  And we are going to disappoint them.  The truth is we may have only duplicated in them our own screwed up understanding of what it means to love God. Instead of surrendering to God so he can make us lovers, we are surrendering to ourselves and making ourselves liars. God knows we need to be crucified…our distorted ideas of love need to be crucified…so that it’s not us who live but Christ lives in us.  Didn’t God already explain us that?  It’s not about doing.  It’s about being (crucified) in Him and letting Him do the doing.  No wonder so many missionaries and pastors get tired and tired of.  And that’s a good thing…because only then may we stop long enough and question our motives. 

Why are we doing?  Why are we loving?  To please ourselves, others, or God Himself?

letters to billy, wrong motivaion #1

April 2, 2008

Dear Billy,

Sorry for the delay.  The last few days have been crazy busy.  We have had several visitors this past week from the states.  We had a whole lot of fun, but not much time to write.  However, I have been thinking a lot about it.  In fact, I had an experience that creates an interesting setting for your question about missionary motivation. 

Early into our first dinner together, over a big stack of pupusas, I was asked the question, “How did God call you into missions?”   It’s a question that always scares me more than a little.   Over the years, I have grown more skeptical of this inquiry because of the possible expectations of the listener.  Do people desire to hear a mystical answer, something Pauline that involves bright lights and audible voices?  Some might prefer to hear an analytical response about spiritual gifts and past experiences.  Both answers are valid and most of us end up with some kind of combination, but either way, I feel that my response may sometimes disappoint them.  It’s probably not going to be what they are looking for.  I am sure that I will not be able to put it all in a nice neat package that they can take home with them and apply to somebody else’s life.

Why does a person become a missionary?  What is the proper motivation for making this kind of radical life decision?  Messy questions can make for messy answers.

First, let’s deal with the negative side.  There are certain reasons for becoming a missionary that are certainly inadequate and maybe even downright dangerous.  No one should become a missionary just because they are floundering in their current way of life or profession.  The struggles of modern and post-modern life can sometimes cause someone to consider the ramifications of their life and its apparent emptiness.  This can be a positive experience that God uses in our spiritual formation. Difficulties can force all of us to evaluate our priorities and our investment of time and resources, but packing our bags and heading to Africa will not solve our issues.  

I remember someone telling me, “Wherever you go, there you are”.  Whatever character issue problems a person is encountering will only be magnified on the mission field.  It’s a lot like a clay pot that has yet to be put in the kiln.  It may look okay to the naked eye, but the real test comes when the necessary heat is applied.  That miniscule seemingly insignificant crack will explode into a serious crisis and the results could de disastrous.  In essence, no one should begin missionary life running away from something else.  We all need to deal with our issues as soon as we recognize that they are issues.   There are sufficient complications on the field without bringing a whole bunch of unsettled baggage.

There was a guy that I met several years ago here in Honduras.  He had experienced a great deal of trouble in the states.  His business was not doing well, his marriage was rocky and his two teenage girls were just hitting the really difficult years.  In his local church, where he was a leader, a visiting missionary shared the need for administrative personnel in his super-successful ministry.  This frustrated guy thought that this was the solution to his problems.  He thought that he had heard from God.  He decided to close his business and move to Honduras.  The extra time together with his wife away from his in-laws would improve their marriage and the move would miraculously rescue his teenagers by separating them from their dangerous friends.  You can only imagine the results.  After about a year of constant struggles, this well-intentioned brother and his shell-shocked family disappeared and we have never heard from them again.  I can only imagine that they are somewhere out there disillusioned, trying to figure out what went wrong.  I feel sorry for them.  They wanted to serve God on the mission field, but their twisted motives proved to be a recipe for disaster.  Somewhere along the way they should have received very loving and caring counsel.  Someone should have stopped them.

I’ll try and write tomorrow.  th

March 27, 2008

Dear Billy,

I cannot fully express how thankful I felt to receive your letter. It has been too long since we last talked.  I am sorry that we all did not do a better job of following-up.

Your letter has been a great source of encouragement.  I was thrilled to hear of your decision.  Certainly, it is the answer that you have been seeking.  You expressed that Shannon is also onboard with the commitment as well.  I really need to hear the whole story of how that came about.  Somehow, I had always believed that she might be reluctant to commit to the missionary life.  She has such strong ties to her family, I guess it just seemed like she would not be able to loosen her grip.  Don’t get me wrong, she will do a wonderful job!  God has gifted her in so many ways.  The real problem will be deciding which opportunities to take and which to refuse.  Nothing personal, but you really married up!  I know that I did!

Has it really been three years?  For me it seems hard to see you guys as married adults.  I can still see you two as love-struck teenagers sitting around your parents’ dining room table when we came to visit.  You both sure did put up with a lot of grief from us.  Seriously, I am really happy for you both.  Please communicate with Shannon how happy I am with the idea of one day having you both form part of our team here in Honduras.  We cannot wait to have you here with us.  Kathee and I, and the whole team, we are overjoyed at the possibilities.  Please know that we consider your decision to be a real answer to our prayers.   God is meeting our needs.

Hey – you wrote with some fairly serious questions in your letter.  First, let me say that, Yes, I am more than willing to correspond with you over the next year as you prepare to make the move.  I consider it a privilege.  I’ll try to answer your questions as best I can – but some of them are going to take some real thought.  Maybe God thinks that I need a little stretching, maybe a lot!   Your first question about the proper missionary motivation is challenging and certainly worthy of the investment (time and effort).  Give me a couple of days and we’ll see what happens.

In Him,      Tim

Over the next year, I will be posting an imaginary series of letter to a prospective missionary named Billy.  Billy and his wife Shannon have just made the decision to become career missionaries. He has asked me to correspond with him in order to help them walk through the ins and outs of missionary service.  Please let me hear your opinions, insights and possible additions....thanks, th