It's all good?

"ALL THINGS WORK TO GOOD".......I have seen this passage beaten and abused beyond recognition. Somehow, the western church has come to believe that Jesus is a good-luck charm that will not let anything bad happen to us; no suffering, no pain and certainly to failure.

Many in conservative circles scoff at the overt prosperity gospel, but the subtle version may be even more damaging.

My Dad lost his father when he was only 15 years old. As the youngest of ten children, he was the only boy who was still living on the family farm. Quitting high school was his only option and the daunting task of running the farm at 15 must have been overwhelming.

After nearly 20 years of working heavy machinery for the North Carolina Department of Transportation, Dad had destroyed his back. Surgeons were able to fuse 4 vertebrae together and I never saw my Dad truly bend over. I can only imagine that his back caused him nearly continuous pain, but throughout my childhood and adolescence I never heard a word about it. He pushed through and continued to show us what it meant to work hard without complaining.

When my brother, Danny, was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy, I was just an infant. Mom and Dad must have been crushed. Mom tells me that every few years they would have an appointment at the Duke University Hospital where the finest doctors would inform them of the harsh reality of this cruel disease and lower their expectations. They never imagined that Danny would live past the early teenage years, much less, learn to drive and graduate high school. Danny was twenty-six when he died and he left a tremendous legacy of hope, perseverance and survival. He also suffered in silence.

Daily, it took Danny about 45 minutes for him to dress himself. Dad would have to stifle the desire to help, choosing to allow Danny to struggle and maintain a certain level of independence. Dad used a towel to muffle his own cries. Danny was a joy and a tremendous example to us all.

So, how do “all things work for good”? Certainly, we cannot be talking about new cars or careers. God is not writing us a blank check for anything that we desire. He is making a much larger and important promise. God is committed to conforming us to the image of Jesus Christ. Simply put, He is committed to making us better people. As a friend explained to me in the wake of our first ministry disappointment, “God is not concerned about your comfort. He is concerned about your character.”

Was Dad a better person in spite of all of life’s difficulties or was his character a result of all these bad things? 

Would a humble submission to God in the midst of life’s worse suffering produce the strength of character that would begin to resemble our Savior in some small way?

Dad

It has been a little more than 6 months since my Dad passed away.  It feels strange to see it in print. The pause between sentences was uncomfortable. I was unprepared for the intensity of feeling…of loss.

               

I live a few thousand miles away from my little home town. That has been true for nearly 20 years, but it feels even further today; not because of the actual geography, but rather the way that life has changed me, hopefully for the better.

Dad’s death has made me more contemplative than usual. I may come across as moody and that may be true. My faith in God is real and alive, but only the edge is taken off of the pain. I miss my father and I have for a very long time.

You have never met a more amicable person than Dad. I want to use the word “nice”, but it doesn't really encompass the reality. From all that I've been able to witness, Dad genuinely wanted the best for the people around him, everyone with whom he came in contact. He had a kind word for everyone and that’s impressive. I am not sure when it actually happened, but I know that I had children of my own and Dad was approaching elderly the first time I was able to hold the door open for him and he actually walked ahead of me entering a restaurant first. How does that change me? How does a life time of caring for others influence all of us who still have ample time to serve?

               

This question has taken a Biblical turn for me as I remember the details. Dad’s life was difficult and I wonder what difference that made…and makes

Dad grew up on a real working farm with a little bit of everything that a family of 12 needs to survive. I envy the resourcefulness, but I like my running water and indoor toilet. Does growing up on a farm in the decades following the “great depression” make you a better person? Would harder work and fewer comforts make us more mature or at the very least more grateful?  Are there not great spiritual benefits in learning to wait and working for the good of the whole family rather than simply seeking personal gain? Can we learn patience without waiting? Can we mature without suffering? Are we truly grateful without the pain of wanting something that we are never able to have?

Romans 8:28,29

                And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God fore knew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son…

                                                                        (To be continued…)