Dad

It has been a little more than 6 months since my Dad passed away.  It feels strange to see it in print. The pause between sentences was uncomfortable. I was unprepared for the intensity of feeling…of loss.

               

I live a few thousand miles away from my little home town. That has been true for nearly 20 years, but it feels even further today; not because of the actual geography, but rather the way that life has changed me, hopefully for the better.

Dad’s death has made me more contemplative than usual. I may come across as moody and that may be true. My faith in God is real and alive, but only the edge is taken off of the pain. I miss my father and I have for a very long time.

You have never met a more amicable person than Dad. I want to use the word “nice”, but it doesn't really encompass the reality. From all that I've been able to witness, Dad genuinely wanted the best for the people around him, everyone with whom he came in contact. He had a kind word for everyone and that’s impressive. I am not sure when it actually happened, but I know that I had children of my own and Dad was approaching elderly the first time I was able to hold the door open for him and he actually walked ahead of me entering a restaurant first. How does that change me? How does a life time of caring for others influence all of us who still have ample time to serve?

               

This question has taken a Biblical turn for me as I remember the details. Dad’s life was difficult and I wonder what difference that made…and makes

Dad grew up on a real working farm with a little bit of everything that a family of 12 needs to survive. I envy the resourcefulness, but I like my running water and indoor toilet. Does growing up on a farm in the decades following the “great depression” make you a better person? Would harder work and fewer comforts make us more mature or at the very least more grateful?  Are there not great spiritual benefits in learning to wait and working for the good of the whole family rather than simply seeking personal gain? Can we learn patience without waiting? Can we mature without suffering? Are we truly grateful without the pain of wanting something that we are never able to have?

Romans 8:28,29

                And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God fore knew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son…

                                                                        (To be continued…)